Detachment does not mean non-involvement. You can be deeply involved, but not entangled.
I guess it is pretty cliche for me to write about my hardships and the troubles I faced on my path so far in life, but we’re all open on this page…within limits.. ya know what I’m sayin’ (foetus Will Smith voice.)
So I want everyone to feel comfortable in speaking their heart! Get your cups of coffee people and join me!
My journey has many more ventures, travel, heartbreak, happiness, sadness and hardships awaiting me. However, so far, I have (as I’m sure many of you have too) experienced many of these at a young age. It wasn’t easy being different. I wasn’t your typical teenage girl.
In a sense, I felt like I belonged to a group of people who all had the same aim; popularity. Being engrossed in that lifestyle, and enjoying the amount of friends I had, it all leads me to talk about how detachment was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, and I’m still working on it. Everyday.
DETACHMENT:
Detachment is a kind of freedom. Internal freedom. It’s where your only obligation, per se, is that to which you owe to yourself and yourself only. It does not require you to fully relinquish your own life and give up everything for someone or something else.
I was quite ‘attached’ (not sure if this a correct term to use but hey, ho) to a good friend of mine, and although confrontation of this didn’t give me closure nor did it make the situation any better, it made me realize that attachment is a very deadly thing for someone to experience, because once you’re in there ain’t no goin’ back!
Just kidding…
But it got to a point where my genuine care for a friend and my intentions to help became something completely disproportionate. Out of reach. I felt confused, lost and didn’t really know what to do. In addition, I was still under the influence of my “friends,” and I used to come home with a disgusting attitude thinking I was ‘all that’, but in the process didn’t realize I hurt the feelings of those who were closest to me.
They influenced me to go against people I knew, people who I didn’t know and even people who were related to me.. yeah I know, I was stupid. I bent over backwards for people, trying to please everyone, trying to be the cool kid. But ultimately I ended up hurting myself.
It was a freaking slap in the face; making me feel bad about myself and losing everything I ever stood for.
Stay with me guys, it does not end there!..
It became a situation where I had to tolerate the way that they were playing with my mind in order to keep my name in the ‘popularity contest’ we were all striving towards winning. And it was tough to get out of.. you know, being in high school (which is shit because it is judgement central!) You always felt like nothing you did was good enough, and manipulation of this was absolutely what they preyed on, so to speak, and it urged me to stay in that toxic friendship. Sound familiar?.. Mean Girls, perhaps? Yup, you got that right. I was kind of a bully… and I knew it.
Not long after, a couple years into high school, it was the final straw. After feeling humiliated, I urged myself to get out of that situation and GOD I FELT FREE.
In my final years of high school, I went vegan. Now being the only vegan in school, I was, of course judged by my morality for not wanting to harm animals for the satisfaction of my tongue. But that didn’t stop me from choosing myself, and more importantly listening to my heart’s instincts. I then did 3 presentations, out of my own time, to raise awareness for the cause. My sense of morality and everything beyond consumed my heart. And filled it with abundant love and purpose.
A constant watch of friends becoming foes, I was not at a good place. However, it almost seemed after detachment of these friends, it allowed me to elevate higher to my true self, and that is when veganism and spirituality came so gracefully in my life and changed it forever. All of what I learned, was in solidarity; the accompaniment of oneself, and it is truly one of the most powerful things you can do to understand yourself, learn new things about yourself…and love yourself without needing someone else to love you.
You see.. in a sense, this experience was necessary for me to actually learn how to be there for myself, console myself and to love myself. That is the case for all of us. People come into our lives for a reason. To teach us something. Those who leave through the bad and only come back for the good, are not worthy of being in your life. But those who are, will look past your flaws and still love you through the dark times and see the light in your eyes. And stay. Always.
Now…well… I still go through the same thing. But the difference is, I do not allow it to cripple me. No longer am I bound by other people’s opinion of me, I refuse to be. I am ME and the beauty of it is that no-one could ever replace that. Nobody can ever take that away. We all have individual marks to leave behind us in this world. Give it everything you have to make sure yours stays to heal everyone’s heart a little, with the infinite love you have to offer.
The only way to achieve this is through detaching yourself from everything! Yes….. errrrrthangg. This gives a higher vantage point to view all of the events in your life without you being trapped inside of them – (God Bless Ya Ekchart Tole!) .. because being trapped causes internal suffering, causes expectation.
Break your chain.
Set yourself free.
And ascend.
So far high,
To where you always
Dreamed of being…
Tulsi's Corner 